Merry (belated) Christmas!

Alright, I don't know if it's kosher to do that but I figure why not. It's like saying Happy belated Birthday to Jesus. And trust me, I definitely did my fair share to say Happy Birthday to Jesus... :)

Sunday was quite the day! The church looked wonderful for the evening services. 4:30 came and off we went! There's four pastor-types at the church so we split the six services between us. I was in charge of liturgy (multiple readings, prayers, readings, lighting of the candles, leading the nicene creed, benediction, etc.) for 5:30, 7:30, and 10:30 which meant I got to help lead both the contemporary services and final traditional service. It also meant I was flying solo, minus the sermon and communion. And it was amazing and jam packed (2100 worshippers throughout the night)! There were a few kinks along the way such as long gaps of silence while I waited for the offering plates, walked them to the front, and then had to get up to the podium to say the prayers, and that people didn't say "amen" after the benediction (The Lord bless you and keep you...) which was a bit unnerving.

But it was all worth it when we got to the end, the house lights were dimmed and I lit my small candle from the Christ candle at the center of the advent wreathe, passed on the flame to the ushers, and watched as the rest of the auditorium was slowly filled with candlelight. And this is all of course while we're singing Silent Night. Now, I've been partaking in this ritual for years at my home congregation and it has always moved me. But this year it moved me for entirely different reasons. There's something special about lighting your candle directly from the Christ candle and then being able to watch how that light spreads, as a direct result of your action. It reminded me of why I was up there in the first place, of my call to spread the light of the Gospel through my job, my friendships, my random encounters, through everything that I do. And for once, I could see in a very tangible way what happens when we spread the light of Christ.

I was also reminded of my home, thousands of miles away. I thought about how my home congregation was doing the same thing as us. I thought about how the people I met at Bethlehem when I traveled there this past year were also celebrating Christ's birth in a similar fashion. I thought about my friends who are doing their internships all over the country and were leading similar Christmas Eve services. I thought about my friends that are doing mission work in foreign countries and were preaching on the same texts as my pastor. I thought about the familiar hymns that I love, Silent Night, O Come All Ye Faithful, and Angels We Have Heard On High being sung in unfamiliar languages. And with all of that going through my head, I felt more connected to the body of believers than ever as I stood up on that stage by myself, looked out at the sea of worshippers, clutched my candle, and sang the harmony to Silent Night as loud as possible. It was a great Christmas!

Christmas Eve In Charlotte

Forecast for Christmas Eve in Charlotte, NC = warm and partly sunny with the highs in the mid-sixties. It's currently 62 outside. However, come Christmas Day expect lots of rain. Also in the forecast, six Christmas services with lots of candles, caroling, and hopefully very little chaos.

It's funny, I've known I was going to be out here for Christmas since internship started. So I've prepped myself for being away from the usual family and friends and have been handling it well enough. What's really thrown me off is the weather. Granted, MN hasn't always had the Christmas weather ever since global warming has taken over but I always feel it shouldn't be any warmer than 40 degrees around Christmas and there should always be cold enough that there is at least a small possibility of snow. So here I am, in the south where it's warm and sunny and it honestly freaks me out. People are wearing their holiday sweaters and turtlenecks to church and I want to yell at them and say, it's not cold enough for you to be wearing those! I'm wearing my suit for tonight and I have a feeling I'm going to roast.

Anyway, all jokes aside. Right now I'm getting ready for the services. I should be napping but I think the adrenaline has already started. Christmas Eve, this is one of the big ones and I am hoping and praying that people's hearts will be open to hear the Gospel, to hear what God has done for them. And it's really hit me this year, as I have friends all over the country and the world that are preparing to celebrate our savior Jesus' birth, that we really are all united. That we are all going forth with the good tidings of comfort and joy. May this peace, love, and joy be contangious and may we spread the Good News as the shepherds did so many years ago.

The Big Push

It's funny. I'm very aware that it's finals time back home in MN. My little sis just finished hers at my alma mater, Gustavus and my friends back at Luther Seminary are turning in the last of their papers in order to attain freedom.

And here I am, in Charlotte, at my job and it feels like it's finals week here too. To give you a snapshot of all that's going on this Sunday we have two Advent IV services in the morning, then a few hour break and then six Christmas services at night! Whew! And right now our entire pastoral staff, myself included, are all writing sermons. Scott is writing for the Christmas Eve service, Troy is writing for Advent IV, Jon is writing for one of the Christmas Eve services (the last one so Scott doesn't completely shoot his voice), and I'm writing for New Year's Eve because I need to have it into the media guy before the end of the day so he can put together the service so he can go on vacation.

So, having all of of the pastoral staff sermonzing at the same time adds a bit of stress to the office. But I think we're almost all there??? Anyway, back to the sermon!

Getting From Point A to Point B

"So, how did you end up in Charlotte?" That's a question I've been getting a lot lately. And I've answered it in my usual way, explaining about the internship process, about applying, interviewing, putting down preferences, and then being matched up. It makes sense and that explanation sounds good and looks good on paper. But tonight is one of those nights where I feel like it's not that simple. Where I sit back for a minute, take stock of all that has happened within the night, the week, the four months that I've been here, my two years at seminary, and going all the way back through childhood I realize that, even though I can trace my steps quite well, I'm still not quite sure how I ended up here.

Today and this week especially is one of those times where I can feel that I'm a part of something much grander than myself, that what's going on in my life is a part of something so much larger than what decisions I make. And this isn't to say I'm anything special or what not. It's just that I know that I'm not in control of this; this call to ministry and where God is ultimately going to lead me in the next couple of years. And I also see that explaining how I ended up in Charlotte really isn't as simple as my two minute answer. There's so much more going on, some of which I can see and know and so much more that I have no clue about.

So, the new answer to the question: "How did you end up in Charlotte?" I think by the grace of God sums it up quite nicely. If you want more details, fine. But I think I need the boiled down answer tonight. God is who's in control, God's the one in charge of this whole deal, God's got the map, and God is the one leading me to exactly where He needs me to be.

Christmas Is All Around

For those of you who don't know, Love Actually is one of my favorite movies, especially around this time of year. It's a Christmas themed romatic comedy that has a story line for everyone. The other night a couple of friends and I gathered to watch the movie and I swear, it gets me every time. *Tear*

The premise of the movie is that "love actually is all around." It's sweet and may sound a bit cheesy but that's something that's been on my heart lately. Christmas is a time for to share with people you love. And this year, I find myself far away from the familiar "loves" in my life: my family, my friends, my classmates, etc. And that means I have been learning to love long distance. And like all types of love, all of them take work. It means extra phone calls, emails, letters, and little things to keep in touch and let people know that I still care for them even though I can't be with them. And like all long distance relationships, it can be hard sometimes. But you make it work because these relationships are important.

And as I have settled into my new home in Charlotte, I have found that love is all around me here too. I may not have the familiar and comfortable relationships I have had for years back in MN, but I have new friends, family, and community. I have a new family through the church staff that I spend most of my week with. I have new friends through the small group that I help lead of young adults. I have a community through the church that loves and cares for me and works to build me up and help me discover who I am as a pastor.

This season, Advent and Christmas, is really all about love. It all comes down to a God that loved us enough to send his Son, as the ultimate present for us. It's about a God, who loved us first and because of that, we can love and find love in each other. And this Christmas season, I am grateful that love is all around; for the love that is in the families at church that welcome me as one of their own; for the love that is in the friends who allow me to be both their pastor and their friend and confidant; for the love that is in a church that allows me to learn, grow, shine, and screw up; and for the love that is in the friends and family that carried me here through prayer and that still continues to lift me today. Take a look around this season and I'm sure you can find a bit of love in your life as well.

A Christmas Story: Jesus in the Shopping Mall

I read this on the Charlotte Observer website the other day. I thought it was worth passing on.

I want to tell you a story of the Christmas season, but it needs a preface. So first, a few words about religion and me.

I don't see angels in the clouds or hear God speaking in the ocean's roar or the gurgle of the Mr. Coffee machine. I claim no special religious understanding or theological insight. Some see themselves as instruments of God's indignation about modern life, and devote a good deal of time to separating sheep from goats. I see myself simply as a beneficiary of God's grace.

I grew up with the certainties of the fundamentalist Baptist faith. As my list of questions grew to rival my list of answers, I experienced my share of internal tensions between belief and doubt. I am comforted by the knowledge that others also engage in that struggle.

In my younger days I focused on the uncertainties. As I age, I find myself more comfortable with the mystery, and I find in myself an inclination simply to trust.

I bring this up, as I said, because I want to tell you a Christmas story.

Last year in the weeks before Christmas I was attending an editors meeting in Miami.

I had forgotten how warm Miami can be in December, and had packed only long-sleeved shirts.

The downtown hotel where we met is connected to a shopping mall, so I strolled over the first evening to buy cooler clothing.

I went into J.C. Penney. The menswear area opened directly onto the large hallway near the escalators. As I looked at shirts I could feel the throng of shoppers bustling nearby.

A stranger's question

I looked up to see a young man emerge from the crowd and zero in on me. I sensed he intended to ask for something. I braced myself for his pitch. But his question took me by surprise:"Do you believe in Jesus?"

I looked him over. He was a thin, pleasant-looking man in his mid-30s, but his hair was tousled and he needed a shave. He had on a rumpled shirt, worn jeans and loafers with no socks.

And he had large sores, visible on his arms and neck, the telltale lesions -- Kaposi's sarcoma, I'm told they are called -- associated with AIDS.

"Why do you ask?" I said.

He told me this story.

He had come to Miami years ago from a nearby town. When he was diagnosed with HIV, his family told him not to come home. Over time his condition had developed into AIDS.

A few days earlier, he said, his family had called. For some reason they had a change of heart. They invited him home for Christmas.

He couldn't tell them, he said, that he was broke. He needed money for bus fare. Ten dollars would get him home for Christmas.

I'm in a Wednesday morning Bible study class at Myers Park Baptist Church. Not long before my Miami trip we had discussed the passage in Matthew where Jesus speaks to those who are to inherit the kingdom and reminds them of how they had helped him when he was down and out.

They ask, when did we do this? He responds, in the compelling language of the King James Version, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.''

The challenge of faith

There's a problem with knowing these Bible stories: They keep calling you to account. This one is particularly troubling for prosperous people who usually manage to ignore the poverty around us.

People like me.

In my pocket I had a $20 bill that I intended to spend on a shirt. I didn't know whether to believe him. It didn't matter. He obviously needed the money more than I did.

I handed him the twenty.

"Here," I said. "Merry Christmas."

He was surprised. Apparently he hadn't expected it to be so easy.

He took the money and looked straight into my eyes.

"Thank you," he said, and it was as heartfelt a thanks as I have ever received. Then he put the money in his pocket and walked away.

Just before he melded into the crowd, he turned and raised his hand in a farewell salute. And he said, "I think you are Jesus."

I was stunned. Before I could respond, he vanished into the crowd of shoppers.

What I would have said to him was this: "I thought you were Jesus."

Merry Christmas.

Written by Ed Williams
Originally published December 21, 1997

New Runners High = 25.9

A lot of numbers are pretty infamous in the running world. 26.2, 13.1, 5k (3.1), 10k, 10 mile, etc. However, on Saturday morning I found myself parked at 25.9, the last 0.3 mile of the marathon. I had decided on Friday not to run the half which was the smartest decision I could have made. I went to the Runner's Expo to see if there was any cool free stuff (there wasn't much) and let the people know I wouldn't be running. As I went through the line and picked up my packet only to turn the champion chip back in, I asked them on a whim whether they needed any more course volunteers. And it turns out they needed someone to help direct traffic near the end of the course. And I was told I probably wouldn't have to do much anyway because there would be another volunteer and a cop right up the street from us so I could spend most of my time cheering on the runners.

So, at 8 a.m. Saturday morning I parked myself right near mile 26 in Uptown Charlotte to cheer on the 5k runners and the marathoners. It was a brisk 20 degrees out and I was glad MN taught me how to dress for this type of occasion. And I spent the next 6 hours cheering on runners of all shapes, sizes, ages, and backgrounds. There's nothing quite like this. I've been there, I've been on that last stretch where you think the 26 mile marker will never appear and your legs and/or your lungs are about to give out. I took great joy in telling the runners that this was the last quarter of a mile and the finish could be seen from the top of the hill (and let me say, I don't know who designed the course but having an uphill finish is just mean!). I cheered on everyone I could. My hands were dry and cracked from the cold and clapping continuously. I was slightly worried about my voice and the fact that I'd have to sing in church the next day. But how could I not cheer, hoot, holler, and applaud these people that had put in so much effort, time, dedication, time, and blood, sweat, and tears for one run on a Saturday morning.

Some thanked me. Others grunted. Some didn't even look on and just gritted their teeth in determination. Others smiled. It didn't matter. I just kept on cheering, encouraging people by their race number (Good job 1024!), and doing what I could to let them know that someone understood and admired what it was that they were doing.

After a full day of watching ordinary do something incredible, how could you not be on some sort of high? Finishing an marathon is an incredible testament to the human will, strength, and courage. And being able to watch 1000 or so people finish one, perhaps their first, perhaps their last, well, it's hard not to be inspired.

Nagging Injuries

I am signed up for a half-marathon this weekend. I've already put the money down, have it written in pen in the calendar, and have been planning on it since I've gotten here. However, I am very prone to rolling my ankle, the left one and have sprained it more times than I care to admit. And it just so happens that I ended up taking a bad step while running on an unpaved trail and down I went. And it just hasn't healed as fast as normal. I don't know if it's because I still feel like I have to be presentable at work and unfortunately that means I have to wear heals on certain days or if it's because this injury is different. But either way, it's put my run this weekend in question. And I'm pretty sure, unless it is 100% by tomorrow, I will instead be at the 21 mile marker of the marathon (where runners hit the wall, the last miles are just brutal) cheering on the other runners.

The hardest part about this is I don't know when it will be 100% again and I really want to run because I absolutely love it. If it doesn't heal soon I might have to go to the doctor and take up something else for the time being. I certainly can't eat the same way right now as I would if I were running. This injury means changing something and trying something new. Maybe I'll finally join the Y and try swimming, as scary of a thought as that may be. But I have to do something and I have to start somewhere. I just keep reminded myself that not too long ago, I had just started running and training and the awkwardness of being a beginner goes away quickly.

And I started thinking of other nagging injuries I have in my life. They may not be manifested physically but I know I have them and we all have them. Being hurt by someone you trusted. Regret over a bad decision you made. Either not being there for a friend or not having a friend be there for you. We all have them. Wounds that just won't seem to heal. And I know I'm very guilty of letting these things be, thinking they'll just heal on their own, and not seeking help form others. It's my independent-to-a-fault characteristic that can serve me well sometimes and other times bring me to my knees. So maybe it's time for me to look at my wounds again and reevaluate. Maybe it means I just need to stop whatever it is that I'm doing and try something new. Or maybe it means I need to seek outside help. Or maybe it means that I'm simply not meant to do it and simply be on the sidelines, cheering others on. I don't know, each wound will have a different remedy. And as hard as it may be, you have to start somewhere.

But I do have no doubt of one remedy that is always helpful, kind of like getting the proper amount of rest. It's turning to God. It is through him that we have the ultimate promise of healing for our bodies, for our minds, for our hearts, and our souls. It is only through God that I'll be able to make peace with my injury, both my ankle and my own hurts that lie deep inside me and find true and complete healing. Now it's just a matter of having the proper amount of patience and not ripping off the bandaid too early.

Accidental Phone Calls?

This is an addition to my earlier post. And yes, I'm still a bit jacked up on caffeine (I usually never drink it).

The funniest thing that happened to me today has to do with my cell phone. I have voice command on the phone which I never use. However, sometimes I accidentally activate it but I usually just let it time out and then it goes back to normal. I did it today while at the coffee shop and just let it sit, assuming it will time out per usual. Of course, this didn't happen and it picked up part of the conversation of the pastoral staff and started calling my friend Jon, who is on internship in Texas. So I look down at my phone and see that it's calling my friend! I panic, hang up the call, and get on with the conversation at the table. Well, of course, his caller ID shows that I called so later today I get a call back from my friend and I have explain to him that I accidentally called him. However, this was also a blessing! We got to chat and catch up about our internships and as we ended the call, we joked that we should call each other "accidentally" more often. :) So, it turned out to be a wonderful addition to my crazy day and made me realize I always have time to accidentally call or talk to a friend.

Busy Day!

Right now I'm stalled out so I'm going to blog while I wait for my computer to download some virus protection stuff. Also, I'm very highly caffeinated which doesn't happen often so I'm in rare form. WEEEE!!! :)

Tomorrow I'm teaching a class on Kwanzaa. Originally I was supposed to have a speaker come in. However, she accidentally double booked herself so I get to teach the whole thing. So tonight I'm going in to talk to her about some of the traditions and get a few of the details straight because there are some discrepancies in my sources. It's been fun to learn about since I knew very little getting into it which is one of the main reasons I volunteered to teach it. So we'll see how it goes. Probably the most difficult part of it will be trying to pronounce some of the words (Kujichagulia anyone???). I'll probably blog a bit more on this after I teach the class. For now, I just want to make sure I've got all my facts straight.

Today the pastors did a bit of planning for the upcoming sermon series. After Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, and the Baptism of Jesus we will be starting a series on the prophets and I get to preach on Hosea. I'm really excited! It's heavy and controversial stuff and it'll be challenging but I'm looking forward to it. Then for the Wednesday series we will be doing "A Walk with Jesus." We're still extrapolating the meaning and it could go a number of different ways (famous walks Jesus went on i.e. Palm Sunday, to the Garden of Gethsemane, via dolorosa is what I originally pictured when I looked at this) and then the Sunday sermon series will be on Providence/Predestination. I'm actually really excited for all of this and I think it will be some good stuff.

While we were at the coffee shop I actually saw someone studying Hebrew! There is the Reformed Theological Seminary in town so I couldn't help but say hi and wish him luck. It's just one of those things. About 90% of the time, someone studying Hebrew will be connected with seminary or religion and I'm always happy to make that connection.

And now I'm off to the library. The busyness continues!!!