Nagging Injuries

I am signed up for a half-marathon this weekend. I've already put the money down, have it written in pen in the calendar, and have been planning on it since I've gotten here. However, I am very prone to rolling my ankle, the left one and have sprained it more times than I care to admit. And it just so happens that I ended up taking a bad step while running on an unpaved trail and down I went. And it just hasn't healed as fast as normal. I don't know if it's because I still feel like I have to be presentable at work and unfortunately that means I have to wear heals on certain days or if it's because this injury is different. But either way, it's put my run this weekend in question. And I'm pretty sure, unless it is 100% by tomorrow, I will instead be at the 21 mile marker of the marathon (where runners hit the wall, the last miles are just brutal) cheering on the other runners.

The hardest part about this is I don't know when it will be 100% again and I really want to run because I absolutely love it. If it doesn't heal soon I might have to go to the doctor and take up something else for the time being. I certainly can't eat the same way right now as I would if I were running. This injury means changing something and trying something new. Maybe I'll finally join the Y and try swimming, as scary of a thought as that may be. But I have to do something and I have to start somewhere. I just keep reminded myself that not too long ago, I had just started running and training and the awkwardness of being a beginner goes away quickly.

And I started thinking of other nagging injuries I have in my life. They may not be manifested physically but I know I have them and we all have them. Being hurt by someone you trusted. Regret over a bad decision you made. Either not being there for a friend or not having a friend be there for you. We all have them. Wounds that just won't seem to heal. And I know I'm very guilty of letting these things be, thinking they'll just heal on their own, and not seeking help form others. It's my independent-to-a-fault characteristic that can serve me well sometimes and other times bring me to my knees. So maybe it's time for me to look at my wounds again and reevaluate. Maybe it means I just need to stop whatever it is that I'm doing and try something new. Or maybe it means I need to seek outside help. Or maybe it means that I'm simply not meant to do it and simply be on the sidelines, cheering others on. I don't know, each wound will have a different remedy. And as hard as it may be, you have to start somewhere.

But I do have no doubt of one remedy that is always helpful, kind of like getting the proper amount of rest. It's turning to God. It is through him that we have the ultimate promise of healing for our bodies, for our minds, for our hearts, and our souls. It is only through God that I'll be able to make peace with my injury, both my ankle and my own hurts that lie deep inside me and find true and complete healing. Now it's just a matter of having the proper amount of patience and not ripping off the bandaid too early.