Big Shoes to Fill

I have to admit, right now I'm equal parts super excited and scared out of my mind. This coming Friday I preach for Chapel at Luther. As a senior, we get the chance to preach in front of our friends, peers, professors, and anyone else who chooses to show up or tune in online. This year the system worked a bit differently and instead of a nominating and vote process, we simply volunteered ourselves. I figured, why not?! It was something I had been looking forward to doing for a long time and figured it was a great chance to do something different too since I get to design the entire service. So, considering my own passions when it came to worship I knew I was going to do something pretty contemporary as far as worship went while trying to keep true to the Lutheran liturgy.

However, I totally took forward granted a) how much planning this was going to involve and b) that this will probably be the toughest audience I preach for and thus the scariest. Last week I found out that signing myself to preach was a mild form of self-torture. As I tried to plan the service, get the proper pieces in place, pick a scripture, etc. I kept on running into random road blocks and hassles. Plus, I found out that one of our Old Testament professors who teaches Wisdom Literature (Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Job, Song of Solomon, etc.) was preaching the day before me and basing the entire service around the same Psalm I was scheduled to preach on the next day! Eek! That is not an act I wanted to follow at all, especially since she had divided up the Psalm in the same way I was going to and was giving a reflection on each part.

Therefore, after some conversation with friends on the topic I decide to scrap all the work I had done on the Psalm (it was Psalm 130 btw which is absolutely beautiful) and went instead with the Gospel text for this coming week, John 11:1-45 which is the raising of Lazarus. And I spent the entire weekend working on my sermon because I knew that if I didn't finish it before the weekend was up, I would spend the entire week worrying and trying to finish it up.

But I will admit, it's a bit crazy to see my name on the Chapel homepage as an upcoming preacher. Like I said before, it's terrifying. All my friends are super supportive but at the same time, there are tons of high expectations and the pressure is totally on high! And it's quite intimidating to think of all the great preachers that have stood up in that very same pulpit and delivered some amazing messages that have truly moved me these past four years. As I face my fears and prepare to stand up there and deliver my message all I can do is trust that God has been with me during this entire process and will be with me when I finally stand up in the pulpit and trust that God's Spirit will be moving in a big way, in spite of my doubts and fears. Because when it comes down to it, it's not about me. It's all about God and what God is doing in my life and what God is doing in the life of this community at Luther and beyond. God is mighty to save and mighty enough to carry me through this whole nerve-wracking-intimidating-exhilarating thing that is senior preaching.