I knew that leaving Charlotte was going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done and I was right. But I also experienced more than tears and sadness my last weekend in Charlotte; I experienced immense joy. This just wasn't about me leaving, it was about celebrating what God had done through everyone to make this a very successful and fulfilling internship.
Sunday really showed me in a huge way how much bigger God is than me and my actions. The more I talked to people, the more I heard their reflections on my internship and when they talked about the impact I had on the church I realized that I couldn't take credit for it. What was going on this year was so much bigger than me. God is huge and he is big enough to take this imperfect pastor wannabe and use her to sustain a high school youth program, build a young adult group, and learn and grow and both impact and be impacted by the people around her.
Of course, I spent most of my last Sunday running around like crazy. I had the services, a reception, and then I planned the youth worship service for the night and we were trying something new, something inspired by my summers as a camp counselor. And it was a lot to pull off in a little time. But, somewhere in the chaos, it all came together. And what surprised me was that in saying goodbye to the high school and middle school youth there were not any tears shed. Instead, it was a different feeling than the tears of sadness in the morning that had both marked the sadness of saying goodbye and celebrating the relationships built. It was a feeling of the complete joy I've had working with these youth for the last six months of my internship. These youth have brought so much joy into my lives I couldn't even think about crying when I was hugging them and celebrating a year and summer well spent together. It seemed the perfect way to end my time with them.
As I head on my way home to my final year of seminary, I go bolstered in my sense of call. This year I found out that I could really do this, that I could be a youth pastor at a large, growing, missional congregation. Heck, that's essentially what I did for the last half of my internship. The gift I received from the staff was the a framed Bible verse written in beautiful calligraphy: Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" As I leave this place I go knowing that I have a call into the greater world. And I can only hope and pray that I'll find my way back there one of these days (I think I'll be taking a break during spring to visit next year). And until them, I will carry the joy and love that this congregation has given me in my heart for the rest of my days.
And because blogs are more fun with pictures...
The praise band I helped lead for Summer Praise.
The young adults group.
The high school youth group.
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