All Bets Are Off

The other day I met with my CPE group for the first time. I will be processing my experiences as a chaplain with the group of people throughout the upcoming semester. This means I will have to get very up close and personal with this group. It's actually a really good group of people so I'm actually curious to see how this is all going to turn out.

In our first group meeting we were asked for one word or phrase that described our life at the current time. I went with the first phrase that popped into my head. It was "all bets are off." Now, I've been journaling for ages. I still have the really embarrassing journals from when I was a kid. I wrote this phrase in one my journal entries right before I started seminary. Somehow, it's seemed to fit every school year that I've started at seminary.

As I get ready for the start of my senior year I came across this again and it seemed to fit. God has had a way of surprising me ever since I started. Who would have thought that I would have lived off campus all three years at Luther? Who would have thought I'd get a scholarship to go to seminary? Who would have thought that I end up in Charlotte, NC for my internship? And who knows where this all may be leading. I had never thought about doing my chaplaincy at Fairview Ridges hospital. And as I look further into my future to the approval interviews and assignment where I'm told what region in the country I journey to after my final year at seminary I can't help but think that everything is going to work itself out in an unexpected way. My life so far at seminary has turned out that way. Why should my first call be any different?

And there is something comforting about looking at life in this fashion; in approaching life as if all bets are off. In admitting this, I'm giving up control. Sure, I get to put down preferences and I'm the one answering the questions in the interview but at the same time, I'm attempting to leave it up to God. Because it's certainly not me that has made all these random pieces fall together in a perfect pattern. I ran from my call to be a pastor for years. The scholarship was an act of grace that I would have never guessed could happen. In entering seminary exactly when I did I inadvertantly ensured myself a place at Christ Lutheran in Charlotte, a place I wouldn't have been able to intern at unless I would have been on the exact track I am on now. Heck, Christ Lutheran was not even my top choice. All bets are off, but yet, I'm still betting on God. All bets are off because God works in unexpected and surprising ways, ways that we may not necessarily choose for ourselves.

I am excited to see what this year brings and a bit scared as well. But I trust that even though things may not turn out the way I want or are expecting, it will somehow all work itself out. God has been faithful thus far in my life and I'm willing to bet my life that he will continue to be faithful in the midst of one of what I'm sure will prove to be one of the most stressful and defining years of my life.