Assignment Part III

Well, it's official. The forms are in the [e-] mail and all of this is officially out of my hands and in the hands of God and the ELCA bishops. And you know, it feels really hard to believe. I mean, all of this seems really hard to believe. Here I am, a senior at seminary, getting ready to finally go out and do what I knew I was supposed to do with my life nearly nine years ago. Yeah, that's right, I knew that I was supposed to be a pastor when I was 17 (but I ran from this whole thing for about four years). And it's weird being the expert at seminary as a senior. People ask for your advice on the internship process, classes, and profs. I'm still not used to that. It feels like I just started this whole crazy process yesterday.

But, it's a great feeling to know that I'm that much closer to being done, to being out there in a church for more than a year, to finally put everything that I've learned to use. I don't know if I'm completely ready but then again, I don't think you can ever really be ready for something like this. I just keep on trusting, praying, hoping, and knowing that the best is yet to come.

My professor's reaction to finding out that I was his assisting minister in chapel at seminary = "You are so lucky that I could get fired for dressing a student up like an elf."

Assignment Part II

I am almost finished with my assignment paperwork!!! It really seems hard to believe that these forms will largely determine the next 3+ years of my life. I can't say how good it feels to almost be done though. I spent most of my Thanksgiving break working on these papers. In fact, the only day I took off was Thanksgiving itself. Wow, that's depressing. But it feels wonderful to almost have it all done. And I think that's how it's supposed to feel. I'm glad I'm excited about this, not just because it means that I have one less thing to worry about, but instead because it means I'm step closer to being out in the parish.

The one last thing I have to finish before I send this in: regional preferences. I will have my choices posted later this week. :)

Assignment Part I

(I'm going to warn you right off the bat, these next few weeks will be full of musings about my future and the all important assignment paperwork. So bear with me through this process...)

I’m starting down my assignment paperwork right now. I have all the questions in front of me and I have all my answer outlined. However, I have yet to take all my bullet-points and turn them into coherent sentences (as if anyone could make sense of “called to a big job, but we have support, first from God (we are empowered by the HS), work ourselves out of a job). It’s a daunting task to say the least. I remember talking to one of my friends about this during his senior year, two years ago. He said he was having a hard time trusting that the Holy Spirit could work through all this paperwork. I’m finding myself in the same position.

To start, I have no idea what some of the questions are asking. Describe how persons and events shaped your approach to parish ministry. Alright, what if my approach to ministry changes due to the context? Another pet peeve: some of the questions seem to be asking the same thing. Finish this statement: I serve faithfully by… I live out my faith in this way… I answered one and then look at the next question and went, well, I already answered that in the first question. It seems so crazy that the next three years of my life are largely determined by questions such as these.

However, at the same time, I know that this is not the end all. Either way, I will be assigned to a synod (an area of the country) and as long as the bishop is on the ball, I will have interviews with churches. I will be able to meet with people face-to-face. And I will be able to finally be a full-fledged pastor.

As daunting as all this paperwork is for me, I know that it’s an exciting opportunity. This is what I have known deep down that I am supposed to be doing, ever since my youth pastor nonchalantly told me as a 17 year old that I would become a youth pastor someday. So, here goes nothing!

Random Thoughts

Some random thoughts for the day:

-I have to finish my assignment paperwork and put down my preferences for regions and synods (where I want to go for my first call as a pastor) in less than a month. Holy ___! Where am I thinking right now? In no particular order: the Southwest (California, Colorado, Wyoming, Utah), Washington, Oregon, Maryland-Delaware, Metro D.C. and believe it or not, the Twin Cities and Eastern North Dakota (yeah, I know, WTF?). We'll see what actually goes down on my paper work. Even thought it doesn't seem like there's going to be much time between now and then, a lot can happen (just look at this past week, whew!).

-Why does everything have to happen at once? Seriously. It's not been one major thing happening these past few weeks but just a bunch of smaller yet very dramatic things that have meant my emotions have been all over the place. Arg.

-I was all excited to start the new week with a lighter load of homework and then, when I'm finally relaxing on Monday night at 9:00 p.m. and I get called into the hospital. Apparently there's no rest for the weary since this was my second on-call emergency within the week. And I'm paying to be put through this...

-I'm always surprised at how the little, unexpected things can bring joy to my life. A random phone call to a friend turns into a great conversation. My roommate's cat decides to snuggle with me. Finding a friend who is just as passionate about something as you and talking shop all of a sudden becomes something you look forward to.

This week has been full of highs and lows, along the same line as last week. I keep on looking forward to the future and hope. Sometimes that's all I can do.