A Memorable Christmas

This Christmas was very bittersweet for different reasons this year. First of all, it's probably my last Christmas Eve at home as a "spectator" in a congregation for a long, long time. It's weird but I made sure to enjoy the time with family on Christmas Eve and my time at church at the congregation I've belonged to since I was a baby.

Second, I woke up to a nice surprise on Christmas morning. I had gone to the 11 p.m. candlelight service on Christmas Eve at my home congregation and I had to drive my mom back to St. Louis Park from Anoka which was a haul (40 minute drive) and then I had to drive myself back to St. Paul. All in all, I didn't get to bed till around 2 a.m. on Christmas morning. I woke up the next day, got ready for Christmas Day festivities at my parents place and went out to my car around 10:30 a.m. to drive out. I come to my car on the driver's side and realize there's something wrong. As I look through the window I see that the front passenger side window has been broken and there's glass everywhere and it's really obvious someone has broken into my car. Oh $&%*!

Yeah, not the best Christmas gift ever. The worst part was I had pretty much parked right below my bedroom window and didn't hear a thing all night long. The engine was fine and I could start up my car no problem. But, still, what a pain. Plus, the fact that it's Christmas Day means that I can't do anything. The police aren't going to take the report because they're only doing emergencies. The insurance is the same way. So, my dad comes to pick me up and we use some garbage bags and duct tape to cover up the window, especially since it's due to snow.

The thing is, these weren't exactly the smartest of criminals. I'm guessing it's probably meth or drug addicts of some sort because they were looking for quick money. They emptied my ash tray which probably had about 40 cents worth of change and went through my glove compartment. They also looked through my trunk. The losses on my part:

-40 cents worth of change (and mind you, they missed another obvious compartment in my car that did happen to have about $20 worth of change in it)
-The Christmas cookies from my Grandma
-A small bag with some old smelly soccer gear (granted, I hate having to replace my cleats, I've had them for over five years now)
-Some empty jewel cases for CDs (and yet missed the dozen or so CDs in my car)
-Harry Potter 7 on CD which I have downloaded on my computers and ipod (also, missing two CDs because they were in my CD visor so I don't think they're going to get far with it)

Thank goodness I don't keep anything real valuable in my car. But, it's been a pain trying to replace the glass. And I don't know what it is but I've just heard of a lot of people getting their car broken into lately. And I really do hate having to worry about my car when I park it outside in the lot now. It's one more stressor I simply don't want in my life. But I guess I'll get used to it. I always do. Plus, it could have been a whole lot worse. They didn't touch my engine. I don't keep anything in my car. Also, it wasn't stolen. So, I'll take what I can get and cough up the deductible for the new window.

But seriously, who breaks into someone's car on Christmas Day? That's just lame.

Merry Christmas!!!

Just wanted to say Merry Christmas to y'all! I hope you are having a wonderful day celebrating Jesus' birth with your family and friends. Peace!

Why Blog and Other Random End of the Semester Thoughts

I've been asking myself why I blog the past couple of days. Part of this may have been induced by wanting another way to distract myself while writing my papers. Part of it was also looking back on this past semester and realizing how much time I've spent whining on my blog. Narcissism has apparently been my sin of choice during this past semester on the blog. All of this in the midst of visiting people in the hospital who are going through much rougher times than me and also having this hospital related crisis strike way too close to home with one our seminary classmates. Could I be any more dense? So, I apologize to you dear readers for all my complaining. I like to think that you all read this because many of you care enough about me to suffer through my many complaints about the semester and the system.

But, in the midst of that struggle I keep on blogging because I think it is a great way to keep in touch. It proved to do just that over internship and it helps keep me connected to friends who I cannot catch on a regular basis back in the Cities. Granted, this is no excuse for me to slack on good old fashioned face time but that has unfortunately been rare this past semester.

I also do it because it's a way for me to look back on all that has transpired in life these past few crazy years. I love rereading stories that I forgot about and times where God did something unexpected and amazing. And I guess that's the other reason I blog: it's a great way to witness to all the incredible things God is doing in my life.

Also, the school portion of the semester from hell is finished! I just emailed my final paper for my last class and now all I have to do is show up to the hospital on Thursday. And let me tell you, it feels great! We often talk about burn out in ministry. The funny thing is I did a ton last year on internship and didn't come close to this stress level at all. There was something so energizing and empowering about being in that ministry site. And then there was this semester which is the closest thing to burnout I have ever experienced (the other might be my junior year of college when my personal life and school life went haywire for different reasons but I digress...). I now know what burnout in the ministry feels like. And let me tell you, I never want to feel this again. This semester has served as a cautionary tale and if I ever find myself at this point again, I hope I can find the courage to make a drastic change in my life. I also know that I definitely have no desire to be a chaplain and I applaud those who do this type of ministry for a living. I'll stick to my lock-ins, retreats, camps, and mission trips thank you very much!

Almost There...

I've been asked by a couple of my friends who are just starting out at seminary how I've gone through four years of finals here and am still sane. Part of it is that I can simply handle more stress than the normal person. I think the biology major and classics double major was a huge contributing factor to this high tolerance for enormous loads of classwork and high pressure situations. Part of it is I'm pretty happy-go-lucky so it takes a lot to get me down in the first place. The other factor has been slowly growing since I started seminary but I finally have a name for it. Apathy! Yes, I know, it sounds all negative. But here's the deal: I've spent most of my life really caring way too much about grades, papers, doing really good professional academically solid work. So I think a healthy dose of apathy is my friend at a high pressure time like this. Sure, I want to pass all my classes and get good marks on my papers but I'm approaching my writing more casually and I've also done this so many times that I have simply realized that it will all get done. It always does.

So, I have ~15 pages left to write before Wed. night and then when I walk out of the hospital on Thursday later afternoon, I will be a free woman. And honestly, I can't wait. I want my life back. I want to have time and energy to spend with friends and family. This semester has taken more energy and joy from my life than I'd like to admit. Thank goodness I have been surrounded by great people that have been able to put up with a less joyous and energetic me this semester. So, only 15 pages left! And for those of your who are also suffering through finals, good luck and God bless! You're definitely in my prayers. We're almost there!

Finals Survival 101

My Survival Kit for Finals this Year:

-Clif Bars and Powerbar Powershots
I'm reminded of training for a marathon. I suppose trying to get through these two weeks is going to be somewhat similar but instead of being able to pick a nice, slower, suitable pace for the 26.2 miles, I'm being forced to run it at a sprint...

-Pre-made Chili and other various soups
Earlier in the semester I would make huge pots of chili and freeze the leftovers for later use. Well, thanks to this handy technique I won't have to cook for the rest of the semester but if I get hungry for something different I can always reach for the...

-Velveta Shells and Cheese
One of my favorite comfort foods (Chipotle being the top of that list). It's quick, it's easy, and it's incredibly bad for me. But it tastes so good when it's midnight I have a paper to finish.

-Bright Red Starbucks To-Go Cup/Thermos
Caffeine will be desperately needed and since it feels like January here, warm caffeine is preferred to the usual DC.

-My Check-list
Yes, the borderline J/P of my Myers Brigs personality shifts to the J side during this part of the year. I know exactly what stands between me and freedom.

-I Am Legend
My planned night off this coming weekend will involve hopefully talking other people into venturing to the MN Zoo in Apple Valley that has a kickin' IMAX screen (and if you're reading this and at Luther and want to come, please let me know). Nothing like some zombie-esque things attacking Will Smith to make me get over the finals induced horror in my own life. Bonus: the IMAX showing of I Am Legend will have a 6 minute preview of The Dark Knight, the new Batman flick.

-iPod
Tunes help keep me sane during the long, quiet hours in the library. At the top of my playlist are:
-Time is Running Out by Papa Roach - Great beat, rocking guitars, and with lyrics like "I refuse to surrender," well, it's enough to keep me going for another 3 minutes (the duration of the song).
-Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5 - Just a fun, pop-y song that I can't get enough of.
-MmmHmm by Relient K - Yes the whole album! With songs that remind me that there is an escape to all the crazyness and that there is life after death and taxes (and finals) and their fun pop/punk stylings with subtle Christian lyrics, I'm all over it.

In All Honesty...

...I'm tired and I'm desperately need this semester to be over. Now, this isn't your usual finals-induced rants that comes at the end of every semester. This semester has been completely different than any other I've experienced. In other words, I bit off a bit more than I could chew. This from the girl who finished up 6 classes, worked 20 hours a week, led worship, captained a soccer team, and managed to have a pretty sweet social life right before she left for internship.

But, I've pretty much got one class finished which leaves me with a group presentation, 7-8 page paper, another 15 page paper, and some various CPE stuff. I'm almost there...

On a lighter note, I got approved this week which means that I'm done with my last hoop in the candidacy process (the process that decides whether or not we're suitable to become a pastor). They asked some hard questions (under what circumstances would you ask someone in your congregation to leave the church?) but they still passed me even though I stumbled through parts of the interview.

Also, last night the seminary had a barn dance (think square dance) and it was an absolute riot! I somehow ended up with a cowboy hat on for the entire night and even got paid for the night through my work at the student services office. I also made the President of Luther dance with me. It was hilarious. Pictures will most likely be forthcoming.

By the Way...

...next year I will be going to Region 3 (the midwest so Minneapolis, St. Paul, or Eastern ND), Region 2 (the southwest so California, Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Wyoming, Nevada), or Region 9 (the southeast so North Carolina). And for those of you who have been following this for awhile, you all know what that last preference may mean. The funny thing was, as much as I thought that putting those down on my forms would be a huge deal and a reason to panic well, it was actually really easy. I think I've known for awhile what I wanted and needed to put so it all went fairly smooth when it came to that point. So, now I get to wait till Feb.

In the meantime, I'm trying to work past the apathy I'm feeling toward the end of this semester. I have three weeks left and am finding it hard to really care that much. I know what I have to do (I made an extensive list of all that is standing between me and freedom) but actually working up the motivation to do it is another story. Hence why I'm sitting in the library writing a blog entry. But, only three more weeks of the semester from hell. And you know, as much as I complain, I am grateful for the way everything has worked out this semester. I have a great CPE group, my friends and family have been nothing but supportive, and I actually have really good classes.

Oh, and it's snowing out! I'm trying to relearn how to drive in the snow after a year in the South but thankfully I have a Subaru with very handy all-wheel drive. But, it's beautiful and I do love it here! Now, all I need to do is finish this sermon and then I can go out and play in the snow.