This was the title for my sermon yesterday, my final sermon of the year. I would actually label preaching yesterday as a defining moment of my internship. Here it is, my favorite sermon from the year...
I’ve always had this random fascination with t-shirts with clever sayings on them.
And believe it or not, the Christian contingent has put out their fair share of humorous t-shirts.
There are shirts that declare, “Organ Music Rocks” and identify the wearer as a “Lutheran Stud” or “Lutheran Chick.”
My favorite t-shirts are ones that either proclaim “Luther is my homeboy” or “My pastor can beat your pastor to a pulpit.”
Now many of these t-shirts have more profound sayings on them that make you do more than just chuckle. I saw one such shirt when I was at King’s Fest, a Christian music festival at King’s Dominion Amusement Park this past month. An adult a couple rows in front of me was wearing a shirt that said, “Live your life so the pastor doesn’t have to lie at your funeral.” I laughed a little when I first saw it but then it got me thinking. And as I sat down to start brainstorming about my final sermon the shirt came back to me again. Though this is not a funeral, it is ushering in an end. And at the root of the statement written on that t-shirt is the question: in the end, how do you want to be remembered? My internship is over in a very short two weeks and then I head back to MN to finish up one more year of seminary. And I find myself asking very similar questions. What will y’all say about me as I close my internship here? What will I remember the most about internship? What have I learned during my tenure here? The answers to these questions and more can be found in the defining moments of my internship: those moments, expected or unexpected, that showed me faith, grace, and hope.
We have all experienced moments of faith. They are the periods where we are peering over the edge of cliff into the unknown. Moments where we know the only way is to jump into the depths and pray for the best. They require a leap of faith. These moments always involve a bit of risk and a lot of trust in God.
For me, the first moment of faith was my first public appearance as the intern. The pastors meet at 7:30 on Sundays to go over the service order and who’s doing what. It was Sunday, August 13 and it was my first meeting. In fact, it was my very first Sunday. I came in assuming that I would simply get to sit and be introduced as the new intern and that would be it. But, of course, Scott had other plans. I was going to do the Prayer of the Day and the Apostle’s creed. Now, I’ve always said throwing me off the deep end was the best way for me to learn but I didn’t expect to jump on my very first day! I apparently was going to have to take the plunge earlier than expected. The 8:45 service was my first test, the first thing I was going to be judged on by the staff, my internship committee, and the congregation. I took a deep breath and dove in. In that moment I let the words of the prayer of the day carry me and my voice. My role has brought me to utter many other words and phrases in front of the congregation beyond “let us pray.” However, it was with these three tiny words that I started my time at Christ Lutheran. It is with these words that I found my voice, the voice I would use to preach on predestination, teach about Christ figures in movies, join with a choir of 60 high schoolers on the Experience tour, pray with people in the hospital, chant on Sunday mornings, sing I Don’t Know How to Love Him for Faith on Broadway, lead worship for Summer Praise, and more throughout the year.
The moments of faith that shape us the most are usually the ones that require the biggest risk, the longest jump, the most daring. For me this past year that has been taking the reigns of the high school youth program as interim youth director. I always said before internship started that my dream job was to be the youth pastor at a church not unlike that of Christ Lutheran. However, I hardly thought I would have the chance to do just that this year. I had barely done anything with the high schoolers during the beginning of the year because Scott and I had decided that it would be best that I concentrate on other areas of ministry since I had had the most experience with high school ministry. And all of a sudden I was given the daunting task of maintaining an already vibrant ministry. And even though Scott and I had discussed it at length, I was still shocked when he announced this change to the new Church Council in February. Though it was scary, I knew I had to step up to the plate because this was too important to not give it my all. And this jump led to other leaps of faith. Planning and executing the beach retreat, summer praise, the Experience tour, and King’s Fest were just a few leaps that I made.
And most of these leaps turned out fine. I landed on the other side relatively unscathed and got affirmation in my call to someday be a youth pastor. However, there have been times where the leap has not been so smooth. Times where I have faltered. Times where things did not go according to plan, times when I screwed up because of my arrogance or ignorance to some detail. And yet, it is in these moments that I’ve found grace; moments of grace. They are moments of undeserved love and forgiveness; they are the gift of a second chance. These moments have been many throughout the year and are as simple as letting me get back up in the pulpit after a not so great sermon, not laughing too hard when I forget how the benediction goes, or the fact that no one videotaped the unfortunate time where Pastor Jon, Jeff and I were forced to sing Britney Spear’s “Oops I Did It Again” for karaoke on the high school ski retreat.
Not even a month ago I found myself on the brink of failure. Jeff and I had been planning on taking the middle and high school youth group to King’s Fest, a Christian music festival at King’s Dominion Amusement park, for months. It was a new trip and therefore we were making it up as we went. I felt we were doing fairly well during the planning stages. However, I held off buying tickets to the last minute because we were still waiting on some people to confirm. And you guessed it, one of the days of the show sold out. I had no idea what to do. I had messed up in a big way and I felt like I had let everyone down. It was in the midst of all the chaos that I was met with grace in the form of the willingness of a few of us in the office to come up with a plan B. Though it would cost even more and stretch our budget, they were willing to work with me to make up for my mistake. Though I had messed up in a big way, we were still able to go and I even had several of the youth tell me this their favorite trip. The success of the trip was a moment of grace that reminded me that God can work through imperfect people to turn an impossible jam into the best retreat ever.
Another moment of grace I have experienced at Christ Lutheran was not necessarily triggered by a mistake. It was instead a moment where I received undeserved love and recognition. At the high school ski retreat we gathered in a circle and we each had a candle placed in front of us. There was a candle in the center which represented Christ and each of us was to light a taper off of the Christ candle and go and light another person’s candle in the circle and say a little prayer for them. It was understood that the youth were to light each others candles and the chaperons were to light the other chaperons’ candles. I took my place in the circle and waited and watched. I was surprised when one of the youth came, lit the taper off of the Christ candle, and passed the flame to my candle and said a prayer thanks over me. It was a touching moment for me because I did not know this youth particularly well and felt like I hardly deserved this small act of kindness. I don’t know if he even remembers doing this. But I certainly do. For me, it was a moment of grace, of undeserved love and friendship. And during my time here I have experienced many more of these as I got more deeply entrenched in the ministry here.
As I continued my work with the high school youth, I experienced something else, a new type of moment. I call them moments of hope. They are moments when I get a glimpse of what could be, a glimpse of where everything could lead. I know what people are saying about the youth of this nation. How they are becoming more self-involved, how they are busier and more disconnected than ever, how they are falling away from the church and that because of this the church is on its way to dying out. This is not only those who are in high school and college, these are people my age too. This is my generation. And yet, that’s not what I’ve seen this past year.
One of my tasks this year was to start a young adults group. What I was doing was going to be fighting the current. People my age are the ones that usually fall away from the church and don’t come back. They are the ones that have the hardest time with church and religion. And yet, I found that the situation was not hopeless. I found in my friends the same longing I felt. The longing to be connected to others and the longing to be connected to God. As we talked about our work, asked deep questions about the Bible, got to know each other, and used play-doh to talk about Genesis 1, I saw a spark in this young adults group. There were some extraordinary people in this group, people who wanted to deepen their faith, who wanted a relationship with God, and who wanted to get others involved too. Perhaps I felt the most proud not when we were together in Barnes and Noble drinking coffee and talking about our faith, but instead when a new young adult was visiting and I knew I could count on at least three people from our group to welcome them, introduce themselves, and immediately invite them to the group. It was in seeing this that I knew how important this group, rooted in faith, was and is to them.
I am only here for a short period of time and therefore cannot see everything through. Therefore, I have hopes tied to things I have started here but won’t see finished, the young adults group for example. And in this type of hope, I see potential, potential for it to become something more than what I have helped start. A great example of this is Summer Praise. As I talked through the program with the family ministry team and we started imagining what could be, things snowballed. Suddenly, we saw this, a time for the youth to gather for fellowship, worship, and discipleship, as something that could carry the youth group beyond my internship and into the new building. We were talking large scale and long term. The first week of Summer Praise approached faster than expected. We had adult volunteers to organize, food to order, songs to prepare, dodgeballs to find. I don’t really know whether we were truly ready or not but it came and we did it anyway. And something happened that night, in the midst of worship, pizza, dodgeball, and talking with the youth. I got a glimpse of what could be. I realized that I was a part of something much larger than myself. I would not be here to see where this would all lead. But I knew this was the start of something; I got a glimpse of the bigger picture, the one that involved Pastor Jon, Neil, Jeff, the family ministry team, the new building, and beyond. And the high hopes we had for this ministry didn’t seem to be in vain.
I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking of defining moments right now. I’m sure you’ve come up with some of you own defining moments. And this is something we always do. As we work through life transitions, we are forced to redefine ourselves. I’ll wager a guess and say that many if not all of you are also in a time of transition. Some of you are starting a new year at school or a new school. Some of you are watching your kids grow up and leave home. Some of you are redefining yourselves in new jobs and new relationships. We are all starting new chapters in our lives and as we do so, we reach back into our past to see what defines us.
The moments I mentioned are some of the ones I want to remember and the moments I want to be remembered for when I leave. However, I feel I’m missing something here. All of these moments are important and I hope they have given you a picture of what internship has been for me. However, the moment that defines me the most, is something that took place long before my internship began. You see, the t-shirt got it wrong. “Live your life so the pastor doesn’t have to lie at the funeral?” This statement completely misses the point. As I look back on my life, on my internship, it is not about what I have done on internship and how I have shown faith, grace, and hope or even how you, the congregation has given me moments of faith, grace, and hope. Instead it’s first and foremost about what God has done, what God has done through Jesus on the cross.
As we look at great moments that define us, as Christians the event of the cross stands at the center. And on the hill of Calvary, Jesus wasn’t the only one sentenced to die that fateful day. There were two other thieves on crosses of their own, one on Jesus’ left, the other on his right. One hurled insults at Jesus. The other defended him and asked the other criminal “Do you not fear God? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” He then said to Jesus, “Remember me in your kingdom.” And Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.” This man on the cross next to Jesus had not lived a life defined by moments of faith, grace, and hope. He had most likely lived the life of a criminal filled with shame, guilt, and sin. But that didn’t matter in the end, instead what mattered was the promise Jesus offered him. This man found forgiveness in the midst of being punished for a heinous crime. Jesus offered him life with his own death and the promise of paradise and everlasting life.
Our lives as Christians are defined by moments of faith, grace, and hope and greatest of these moments can be found on the cross. This act is what truly defines us and our lives. It makes no difference whether we are an intern pastor trying to find our way, a high school youth who’s asking some big questions about a life, a new believer who is still trying to figure out the ropes, a long time believer who’s having some big doubts, a person who’s trying to hide from a shady past, or a criminal hung on a cross next to a man who others call the Christ in mockery. This moment, this act on the cross, this work of faith, grace, and hope rooted in the love of God unites us all as believers in the forgiveness of our sins and the promise of paradise.
Even though I have worked hard this past year on internship to live my life the best I can; though I’ve tried to live a life filled with faith, grace, and hope, I still have fallen short. I still am like this criminal, begging for mercy. And God’s promise stands true. Every moment I live is filled with faith, grace, and hope because of what God has done. All of the defining moments of my internship are rooted in this promise, in this moment, in this act that has brought true faith, grace, and hope into my life. It is what has allowed you and me to display and experience faith, grace and hope on my internship.
As you go out into the world, do not live you lives so the pastor doesn’t have to lie at your funeral, do not live your lives trusting in your own actions. Instead, live your life trusting that at your funeral it makes no difference what the pastor says about your life, what matters is what Jesus did on the cross for you and for all of us as believers.
As I leave my internship, I go reminded of God’s faithfulness at times when I have taken the plunge and risked it all. I go reminded of God’s grace through the grace both you and God have shown me through giving me second chances and undeserved love. I go reminded of the hope we have through God through his promises and your dedication to each other and to God in this world. You have truly made Christ known to me through all you have done this past year. Thank you and God bless.
