Making Sense

I only have a month and a half left of internship. It seems hard to believe. I've started making plans for when I return to seminary for at least one more semester and it's hard. It's like I'm living in two different worlds. I know some people have already started checking out of their internship but I still find myself in the thick of things. I've been sharing the bulk of responsibility for getting a new worship service/small group time for the high school and middle school youth off the ground. I have one more sermon to preach. I have a trip to go on with the high schoolers. I have plenty of Sundays to get me up and keep me busy. Checking out is not an option for me. And yet I don't have a choice in a way. I need a place to live. I need to nail down my chaplaincy position. I need to find a place to work.

Now, I've spend a majority of my life in school. And I do well in school. I know how to study and I'm a hard worker and have logged more time in the library than I'd like to admit. But it's hard thinking of going back after this past year. Part of it is because I've found a near perfect fit at my internship congregation. It's not because this is my ideal geographical location (really, it's just a bit too warm down here for me) or my ideal context (suburban) or my ideal church size (large and growing). I'm sure all these factors play into all of this being a great fit but it goes much deeper than this. I've found a place on my internship where I make sense. All of a sudden all of my qualities, all of my gifts, all of my talents are put to their best use.

Take Summer Praise for example. My main role is leading the worship part of it with a group of high schoolers that play the more contemporary music. One of my passions is contemporary worship and music. Plus, I spent one year at seminary being a part of a group that did a student led worship service every week. Not to mention countless summers at camp as a guitarist. And when I'm not playing I get to hang out with high schoolers, build relationships, and gradually go deeper with them and field the occasional theology question.

That's only a small example. Between coming in and thinking a young adults ministry would be a great internship project and finding the immense need for it and finding great success with that aspect to preaching on the perfect topic for where I was and still am "What Is God's Will For My Life?" I've found myself able to use past experiences that have brought pain to speak to those who have gone through similar ordeals here in a very personal way (my pastoral care prof would be proud of me).

And I find myself wondering whether I'm going to be able to find another place that will fit me nearly as well as here. I guess I can only hope and pray that I do. But one thing is for sure, I have fallen head over heals in love with this church and this community. And thankfully the congregation is all about keeping an open door for me in the future whether as a visitor on the groundbreaking for the new sanctuary after the capital campaign that I helped get off the ground is over, an extra chaperon on the Habitat trip back to John's Island, or maybe in a more official way down the line. Either way, I trust that the right door will open at the right time or the door will close if it needs to be closed.