Preaching in Chapel + Synodical Assignments =

A good thing actually! I was surprised by this revelation the other day. All things considered, it's a very stressful week for my and my fellow seniors. Most of us are expecting to get the call from our future bishop sometime tonight/tomorrow and people are really anxious to say the least. Add to that the fact that I'm preaching in Chapel tomorrow (see previous post) puts a lot of stress on me. But the great thing is I've spent most of my week stressing out about Chapel and preaching as opposed to about assignment. And this is a good thing because if I stress out about Chapel I can actually do something about it. I can run through my sermon another time. I can tweak the powerpoint yet again. I can spend some time praying. I can go through the reading again. I can actually do something about the stress and turn it into something productive as opposed to worrying about assignment where I can do nothing except stare at the phone trying to will it to ring. So, we'll see what the next 24+ hours bring. Either way, Friday is going to be a huge day!

Big Shoes to Fill

I have to admit, right now I'm equal parts super excited and scared out of my mind. This coming Friday I preach for Chapel at Luther. As a senior, we get the chance to preach in front of our friends, peers, professors, and anyone else who chooses to show up or tune in online. This year the system worked a bit differently and instead of a nominating and vote process, we simply volunteered ourselves. I figured, why not?! It was something I had been looking forward to doing for a long time and figured it was a great chance to do something different too since I get to design the entire service. So, considering my own passions when it came to worship I knew I was going to do something pretty contemporary as far as worship went while trying to keep true to the Lutheran liturgy.

However, I totally took forward granted a) how much planning this was going to involve and b) that this will probably be the toughest audience I preach for and thus the scariest. Last week I found out that signing myself to preach was a mild form of self-torture. As I tried to plan the service, get the proper pieces in place, pick a scripture, etc. I kept on running into random road blocks and hassles. Plus, I found out that one of our Old Testament professors who teaches Wisdom Literature (Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Job, Song of Solomon, etc.) was preaching the day before me and basing the entire service around the same Psalm I was scheduled to preach on the next day! Eek! That is not an act I wanted to follow at all, especially since she had divided up the Psalm in the same way I was going to and was giving a reflection on each part.

Therefore, after some conversation with friends on the topic I decide to scrap all the work I had done on the Psalm (it was Psalm 130 btw which is absolutely beautiful) and went instead with the Gospel text for this coming week, John 11:1-45 which is the raising of Lazarus. And I spent the entire weekend working on my sermon because I knew that if I didn't finish it before the weekend was up, I would spend the entire week worrying and trying to finish it up.

But I will admit, it's a bit crazy to see my name on the Chapel homepage as an upcoming preacher. Like I said before, it's terrifying. All my friends are super supportive but at the same time, there are tons of high expectations and the pressure is totally on high! And it's quite intimidating to think of all the great preachers that have stood up in that very same pulpit and delivered some amazing messages that have truly moved me these past four years. As I face my fears and prepare to stand up there and deliver my message all I can do is trust that God has been with me during this entire process and will be with me when I finally stand up in the pulpit and trust that God's Spirit will be moving in a big way, in spite of my doubts and fears. Because when it comes down to it, it's not about me. It's all about God and what God is doing in my life and what God is doing in the life of this community at Luther and beyond. God is mighty to save and mighty enough to carry me through this whole nerve-wracking-intimidating-exhilarating thing that is senior preaching.

Almost to the Point of Being Funny

So, let's run down what's happened to my car in the past 2.5 months.

-Broken into on Christmas Day
-Failed to start 5 times in the past month
-Towed from my apartment parking lot
-Had more work done on it than I want to admit on a blog

The icing on the cake? I finally broke down and got a garage and it solved the starting problem. However, this past weekend someone broke into the garage and broke into my car, again! The other two cars sitting in the garage stall next to mine also got broken into. Not much was taken, again. Just some change (this time they actually found my stash and made off with somewhere around $15 I'm guessing) and CD's that I all have backed up on my computer and ipod. On the "sunny side" I knew exactly what to do this time, made all the appropriate calls, and got it all taken care of within 2 days as opposed to it taking over two weeks last time. Plus, my glass is covered under my insurance so I know I at least don't have pay anything.

So, people have been well aware of my car woes over the past few months so when I got back to school today and got questioned about how I was doing I realized that all this car stuff had gotten so ridiculous that it was to the point of almost being funny. Nay, actually to the point of being kind of funny. I mean, seriously? Who would have thought all of this could happen? So, needless to say, life goes on and I have a car and it works which is about all I can ask for at this time. It's better than trying to make it through seminary without one. Plus, one thing I've learned is that I have some great friends who will always be willing to help me out in a pinch. So, thanks to all those who have driven me, listened to me gripe, and offered a sympathetic ear.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

After a week of big news, waiting, frustration, stress, and turning another year older I did something completely different last night. I took a night off from homework, reading, writing, worrying, and stressing and I went to the Foo Fighters' show at the Target Center. It had been way too long since I had seen a live show and add to it the fact the Foo are one of my favorite bands and thus, made for the perfect escape. Plus, I had floor tickets!!!!!

So, I get there a couple of hours early and am pleasantly surprised to see that I am one of the first people there, therefore, I got amazing position on the floor. There were two separate stages: a main stage and then a smaller stage where they were going to do an acoustic set. There was a catwalk attaching the two stages also. So, I run once I get let in and get a spot right up against the rail in the middle of the catwalk. So it's only a metal fence thing and a very nice security guard between me and the show. It was awesome!

Needless to say, I took a ton of pictures, sang at the top of my lungs to some of my favorite songs including Best of You, One By One, The Pretender, Monkeywrench, Stacked Actors, and more, and got to completely forget about all the current stresses of my life. Oh, and the pictures I'm posting, I didn't even have to zoom for them!

It's times like these you learn to live again
It's times like these you give and give again
It's time like these you learn to love again
It's time like these time and time again

Also, I now totally have a crush on their new lead guitarist, Chris. :)

Dave Grohl making use of the catwalk.

The acoustic set on a separate stage. Also, the rock violinist, Jessie, is a native Minnesotan!

Closing it out with a kickin' encore of Long Road to Ruin.

Drafted! Part I

I feel like I should have warned you that I'm was going to/am going to be blogging a lot this week.

So, we got handed our envelops today that very much held a piece to the puzzle of our future. In this envelop was the region that we would be heading to for the first three years of our ministry. It was an exciting and scary time. Nobody really knew what to expect. Sure, we had all put in our preferences but whether or not those are honored is another thing. The seniors had spend most of the day fretting the results.

I spent most of the day working in the Student Services office and as the day went on, I couldn't help but get a bit giddy. It was a combination of true excitement and nerves. I think the "underclassmen" I talked to during the day thought I was nuts or just plain weird.

So, the time arrived and the seniors headed up to get our envelops. I got mine, took a deep breath, and opened the letter. It said exactly what I thought it would: REGION 3!!! I had no idea what I would feel when I opened it and saw the region. But I was surprised by the different feelings that came. There was excitement, relief, and a lot of hope. One of the great things about Region 3 is that a lot of Luther people end up there. So some of my close friends will likely be within close driving distance from me. Plus, I have family and friends and lots of connections in the area. And you know, the church is doing some exciting things in this area. So, as much as today could have been a disappointment, it was actually a day full of joy. I will find out exactly what synod/area I've been drafted to in about two weeks. Until then, I have plenty to keep me busy.

For the Record

My Official Guess for the Draft Tomorrow: Region 3 (the midwest)

The Dark Horse: Region 7 (the upper east coast) (I'm this number out there for no apparent reason. I basically picked an arbitrary number since I didn't even put it on my paperwork but I did tell our rep that I'm open to go anywhere as long as there's a good church)

The Long Shot: Region 2 (the southwest)

Making Lemonade

This has been a bad couple of months for my car. To say that I've had car issues would be a major understatement. In the past two months my car has been broken into, towed, and has not started a record number 5 times! Ugh! Never has the MN cold gotten to me and my car like this before. So I finally broke down after non-car start #4 and brought it into the shop to get my 90,000 and 105,000 tune-up done. Kill multiple birds with one stone basically. So I started out today, the first really cold day after I got all the work done on my car, fairly confident that my car would start up. And of course, it didn't....

You've got to be kidding me! I didn't have any class today but I was supposed to be a part of a student panel for prospective students. So, I give a desperate call to a bunch of my friends from seminary and am blessed enough to have a couple offer to bail me out and drive me to campus and back.

Then, I make good use of my AAA membership and give a call for help starting up or a tow depending on how things go. My starter can tend to be tricky and thus, some people are often able to get it started after some tricks that I'm still trying to master. It turns out that the person who comes to help bail me out had done so about two weeks ago right before I brought my car into the shop. We both remember each other and in the midst of trying to get my car started, we strike up a conversation about life. All of a sudden I find myself being treated as a friend and confidant as I get a serious prayer request. I of course oblige and say that I will definitely keep her in my prayers and find myself exchanging numbers and email addresses. By this time my car has started and is running.

Part of me really hates cliches such as "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade." But in this case, life handed me lemons and somehow, God was able to turn it into a situation where I got a chance to really connect with someone and support someone who has bailed me out twice now. Now, do I attribute my car not starting to God? No, that's simply the nasty, cold MN weather. However, I think God was able to use me and this crappy situation in a completely unexpected way.

And I can't help but take this to heart at times such as these. The fate of my next three years in ministry will be decided as the bishops et al. get together to assign all the outgoing MDiv seniors tomorrow. I honestly have no idea where I'm going to get placed and that scares me. I hope and pray that I get placed somewhere that makes sense for my abilities, talents, passions, and gifts and that also happens to be a place where I want to live. However, I know that this might not all come together. It might seem like I'm ending up out in the cold with a car that doesn't start. But, at the same time, I've been reminded today that God can take bad situations and use it for good. I've been reminded that the kindness and generosity of friends can go a long way. I've been reminded that ministry can happen in even the oddest and most frustrating of situations.

So, my solution for my car. I've got a garage leased for the time being which will keep my car warmer and thus make it more likely that it will start. We'll see if this actually works tomorrow morning. If not, well, I guess I'll just have to make the best of the situation because that's all we can do sometimes.

The Great Draft

Draft season is upon us. And no, I'm not talking about the NFL or NBA draft. I'm talking about the Great Draft of all the graduating MDiv seminarians in the ELCA. It's the time that we're all assigned to go to different parts of the country for at least the first three years of our ministry. This year the draft takes place on February 19-20 and my friends and I at Luther will find out at approximately 5:20 on Wednesday, February 20 what our future holds. It's a crazy time and there's a mix of excitement and worry in the air.

The craziest part about this whole deal is how the whole draft system works. It seriously resembles a regular sports draft. First, let's get your updated on some of the ELCA terminology. I'll be talking about Regions and Synods a lot. A Region is the bigger piece of the pie. There are nine Regions in the ELCA. For instance, Region 2 is the Northwest which includes Washington, Oregon, Alaska, etc. A Synod is smaller piece of the pie and covers a particular area. For instance, in Region 2 there is the Oregon Synod, Alaska Synod, Northwest Washington Synod, etc. These synods all have multiple churches within their area that they "oversee" and coordinate with. All the graduating students will be looking to fill vacant positions at various churches around the country. There are also Bishops. The Bishops are like the CEO of the synods but they're also the "pastor of the pastors" in their synod working to move people, keep order, and resolve conflict.

All the graduating 200 some candidates have profiles already filled out. These profiles tell bishops their basic info and includes where we are interested in going in the country, and what type of ministry we're interested in doing (solo call, working with a large staff, specialized ministry like youth ministry). The bishops have access to these forms and read over them to get an idea if the candidate would be a good fit and whether or not their needs would be met in the synod and region. Most of us put down preferences about where we would like to go and those are generally respected. People are also allowed to restrict which means they are guaranteed a placement in a certain region due to children, spouse with job, house, medical condition, etc. However, the restrictions must be approved. That's a whole other story though.

The said profiles are laid out and it essentially goes down just like any other draft. Nine Bishops are there representing their nine regions and drafting for their particular region. Each seminary also has a representative who speaks for the students (in our case, our Dean of Students). The Bishops have already established an order and the first Bishop to go takes five candidates his region is interested in (five is just an arbitrary number, we're not sure how many but it seems close enough). However, each candidate doesn't just automatically get assigned to that region. Each candidate is held up before the entire crowd and are asked whether they are contested or not. In other words, if more than one region is interested in a candidate, that candidate's profile is marked and the bishops will address this later.

So, this basically happens until all the candidates are assigned to a Region in the country. And now the fun part. They wheel and deal for the contested candidates. They trade other candidates and shuffle people around until everyone is satisfied.

And that's how it is decided where I will spend the next three years of my life! Whew! It sounds scary, especially since unlike the pro-athletes I'm not signing up for a six figure contract. But, I have to trust that God is able to work through this messy paperwork and this crazy process. Somehow, just somehow, the Holy Spirit shows up there and works through all of the paper, the needs, the wants, and the hopes of everyone involved. And you know, it might be foolish for me to put my hope and trust in the system and frankly, I've never really had a choice in this matter either. But, this process gets me one step closer to being in a church and being ordained. And I do trust that God is working for the good in my life right now, even though it may seem scary and not quite right at the time. So, next week, you'll probably get a very freaked out blog entry stressing out about this whole process because I'm placed in Western North Dakota or something. But, at least I'll know someplace in the country thought I'd make a good minister there and hey, I'll take that. ;)

Checked Out

It's only the third day of classes and already I feel like I'm behind. And I'm only taking three classes right now as opposed to the usual five. Weird. I think I'm going to attribute this phenomenon to the fact that these are a big couple of weeks in the life of an M. Div. senior at Luther Seminary. We've started our final semester of seminary (Woo-Hoo!) and the Great Draft is in a measly nine days. Whew! I'm tired already. Add to that a lot of heady subject material covered in my classes, especially my final theology course on the Holy Spirit and the Trinity (it seriously takes me a good hour to read 15 pages of one of our books, that's right on par with how long it would take me to read 15 pages in my plant physiology textbooks). The finish line is in sight and I think many of us seniors are finding it hard to concentrate on the here and now when the end is in sight. And it doesn't just seem like it's the end of school, it's the beginning of the rest of our lives as pastors, God-willing we don't suffer burnout.

Therefore, I'm finding it a little bit harder than usual concentrating in class. I'm finding it a bit harder to buckle down and read my textbooks. I'm finding it more frustrating when an assignment isn't as practical or applicable to ministry as I'd like it be.

But at the same time I'm finding things to look forward to in my final semester. The seniors are finally preaching in Chapel which has proved to be a breath of fresh air. I'm so proud of my friends and know that one after another will bring it in the pulpit. Many of us are realizing that this is indeed our final semester in this sometimes equally amazing and frustrating community that has given us so many chances to grow and learn and doing all we can to take advantage of this gift. And of course, there is the promise of the life after seminary, when we finally get to truly walk the walk and be in congregations all over the country and all over the world. Even as a face my apathy toward my coursework I can't help but get excited about all the possibilities. It's always a delicate balance. I'm not quite ready to be completely checked out of this community and this learning process. There is too much at stake to not keep learning and discerning, to take this community for granted, and to not work to strengthen these friendships and ties that have meant the world to me and carried me through so much already.

So here's to what I hope, pray, and know will be an memorable and amazing final semester!

Yay Giants!!!

It's only fair that I post a blog entry in honor of the Giants Super Bowl win since I posted about the Colts last year and wrote about this game in a previous entry! What a great game! The Pats have now officially been shut up. Eli has shown that he is a quarterback for the ages and has MVP to add to his resume. They were the underdogs. They took down the "giants" by playing their hearts out. How do you not love that as a sports fan??? At the end of the game as the seconds ticked down, I felt like yelling "do you believe in miracles" 1980 USA Olympic hockey team style. I'm kind of a dork and I know that nothing will quite beat that upset but this is pretty close. So, like I said before in my earlier blog post, GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!